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A scorching day at Niederrheinstadion, where 6348 spectators were in place for today's match. Bogoljub Jugović was the appointed referee with assistance provided by Edi Garnet and Tim Alexander. The head coach flashed hand signals from the sideline and Oberhausen formed up in a 3-5-2 combination. Let's hope the opposing sideline wasn't filming that. The following players had been selected: Sulen - Judas, Paderborner, Höse - Tirone, Wartenau, Valmartin, Thiere, Daniels - Gerstenberg, Hötzendorf.

Our studio analysts were correct. Gipfelstürmer has taken the field in a 4-4-2 alignment. Lineup: Scholler - Adams, Ratberger, Haering, Glücksmann - Rehfeldt, Wallowitsch, Launsbach, Pferdmenges - Altay, Biber-Palubicki.

Was it the hair gel? Was it a gift from the gods? Either way, the faithful won't care. Soaring like a Saturn V, Andreas Daniel Höse somehow got his head on a Carl Valmartin moonshot from the corner and buried it in the back of the net. What grace! What power! Plant the flag for Oberhausen, Neil Armstrong! The score is now 1 - 0. With 30 minutes played, Willfried Gerstenberg could have brought this one home for Oberhausen as he charged up on the left, but his hooked ball went just a bit too high. Samuel Thiere behaved like an inexperienced youth player after 39 minutes as he gave the ball away to Oliver Launsbach. Lucky for him though, there was no goal. A speedy charge from the left side of the field increased Oberhausen's lead to 2 - 0 as Torben Hötzendorf finished it off clinically, firing the shot from a terrible angle. By now, the players of Oberhausen felt that victory was a sure thing and began to play it safe, focusing on defense and not risking too much going forward. With 43 minutes played, Oberhausen's Carl Valmartin received a yellow card for challenging a play with his cleats first. After 44 minutes, Oberhausen's Torben Hötzendorf successfully broke up a pass with his face. Instinctively, he got up again only to unintentionally use his now-throbbing schnozz to break up a second pass. As he was carted off for a concussion check, Gianluca Meilinger ran onto the field to take his place. 45 minutes had passed when Oberhausen put themselves up 3 - 0 after the visiting defenders lost the ball to Samuel Thiere, who came up from the left and proceeded to easily go around the goalkeeper and knock the ball home. After 45 minutes, Oberhausen's Troy Paderborner successfully broke up a pass with his face. Instinctively, he got up again only to unintentionally use his now-throbbing schnozz to break up a second pass. As he was carted off for a concussion check, Svenn Schleritzko ran onto the field to take his place. 45 minutes into the game, Oberhausen had difficulty finding their positions and their organization dropped to inadequate. 3 - 0 was the halftime score. Oberhausen did a good job holding on to the ball, with 71 percent of possession. We'll be back after these interminable commercial messages.

Oberhausen added another goal to their lead as Adlef Judas struck home for 4 - 0 after an attack from the left set him up unmarked in front of the keeper. Günther Ratberger of Gipfelstürmer received a yellow card after 49 minutes for unsportsmanlike behavior. Carl Valmartin struck a 30 yard free kick home after 53 minutes. 5 - 0 for the home team. Carl Valmartin increased Oberhausen's lead to 6 - 0 with a penalty spot cannonball. Oberhausen did a good job holding on to the ball, with 78 percent of possession. We'll be back after these interminable commercial messages.

Oberhausen's best player was Samuel Thiere. Speaking of stinking up the place, Carl Valmartin sure smelled like the bottom of Batman's shoe after a night of crimefighting in Gotham. Gipfelstürmer's best player was Rupert Glücksmann. Even six year old fans were wincing at the poor play by Mathies Pferdmenges today. The match ends 6 - 0.

Rating details

Midfield wretched (very low) disastrous (low) 5 2 2/20 1/20
Right defense poor (very low) poor (low) 9 10 3/20 3/20
Central defense poor (low) weak (very low) 10 13 3/20 4/20
Left defense wretched (high) poor (very high) 7 12 2/20 3/20
Right attack wretched (low) wretched (very high) 6 8 2/20 2/20
Central attack wretched (very high) wretched (very high) 8 8 2/20 2/20
Left attack wretched (high) wretched (high) 7 7 2/20 2/20
 
Team attitude (Hidden) (Hidden)
Tactic Normal Normal
Tactic skill (no tactic) (no tactic) (no tactic) (no tactic)
 

Possession

71%
29%
78%
22%

Chance distribution

Home Away
7 1

4 Left attack 0
0 Central attack 0
0 Right attack 0
2 Other 0
1 Special events 1
Detailed match analysis is not available for matches more than two seasons old.

Rating details

Please note that the percentages above are meant to guide you, but they do not equate to the exact probabilities (to score for example) used in the match engine.

Indirect set pieces

Defense 0/20 0/20
Attack 0/20 0/20

Miscellaneous

Team attitude (Hidden) (Hidden)
Tactic Normal Normal
Tactic skill (no tactic) (no tactic) (no tactic) (no tactic)

Average ratings

Total player experience wretched (low) disastrous (very high) 6 4 2/20 1/20
Average midfield wretched (very low) disastrous (low) 5 2 2/20 1/20
Average defense poor (very low) poor (very high) 9 12 3/20 3/20
Average attack wretched (high) wretched (high) 7 7 2/20 2/20
Total average wretched (high) wretched (high) 7 7 2/20 2/20

Lineup




 
 
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